Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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