His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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