this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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