Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm sobbing to NWA
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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