go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
