He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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