I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He has the fingertips of a God
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