i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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