i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
