yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
