i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
