She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.