She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
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He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
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Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.