Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen