We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
