Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
