white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
