I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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