its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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