soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
