Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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