one might say we're banned from that church
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
