U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
