I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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