i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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