Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so that wasnt chicken after all
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
