420 ftw
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
