Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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