i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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