I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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