i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
