"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We need to feng shui this bitch.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
