Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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