I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
