Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
