yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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