Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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