ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
