I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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