absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
