I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
