Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
