Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
