you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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