I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
