if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
