I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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