it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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