Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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