True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
