We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
