one might say we're banned from that church
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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