Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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