i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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