My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
