Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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