He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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