We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
