I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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