The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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